


Falling Forever (For You)

by Zari_x_Charlie (SuperSanversShipper)



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash February, Femslash February 2019
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-10-20 16:24:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17625713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperSanversShipper/pseuds/Zari_x_Charlie
Summary: Femslash February collection for 2019!!!Day One: OppositesDay Two: PinkDay Three: LostDay Four: CafeDay Five: SharpDay Six: The MoonDay Seven: DIsasterDay Eight: Silent





	1. Day One: Opposites

Her breathing quickened as she looked around. The dark prevented her from seeing very far though the lights flashing around her did little to help. Clutching her gun to her chest, she ducked behind a pillar and looked around.

She’d come into the room from a door about twenty feet away from where she’d previously stood. Her vest had caught a shot as she came in, and rendered her temporarily helpless in the middle of the battlefield. The person she’d been tracking had slipped away in the confusion, much to her frustration. 

She shook her head and checked to see if her gun was loaded. Greeted by a full round of ammo, she smirked and stood up, ready to track down her target again.

The smile on her face melted off as her vest let out a depressed beep to signal that she’d been shot again. She glanced around, only for her eyes to land on the familiar face that had gotten her.

“Sara!” she groaned, “I was going to get Gary!”

“Sorry, Aves,” Sara grinned cheekily and blew her a kiss, “But we’re on opposite sides.”

With that, the time captain jumped to the ground from where she’d been crouching in the rafters.

“Are the rafters even fair game in laser tag?” Ava grumbled as her girlfriend brushed past her.

“Nothing says they aren’t,” Sara responded, before disappearing into the dark again.

Ava grinned and rolled her eyes, picking her laser gun as it let out a beeping sound to signal that it was charged again. She couldn’t be distracted by her girlfriend. After all, they were on opposite sides.


	2. Day Two: Pink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is... pure crack. I had this stupid dream one day and ended up writing this... I still have no idea what it is... (I blame being unable to access my writing playlist for this mess)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, so this is late... but I had a busy day?

“It’s pink,” you say.

“I know,” comes the answer.

You take a deep breath in, eyes fixed on the sight in front of you. You can’t quite understand it.

“Why is it pink?” you ask, after a long moment of silence.

“Why not pink?” your wife questions in return. The question tumbles around in your mind.

_“Why not pink?”_

It’s reasonable. It’s completely a completely reasonable question to ask. Yet, you can’t quite answer it.

“I don’t know. It’s a weird color,” you finally reply.

“Not really, love,” your wife retorts, and even without looking you can see the raised eyebrow on her face.

“Yes, it is. It isn’t just… pink. It’s plain pink,” you say, but even you know that this is… illogical?

“Yeah, that’s the point,” she interrupts, resting a hand on your shoulder.

“Plain baby pink. It’s not even a full color. It’s a baby color,” you ramble on, ignoring her for a moment.

“Is that so, babe?” she hums, resting her chin on your shoulder and leaning in to nuzzle her nose into the crook of your neck.

“Stop trying to seduce me when you bought plain baby pink sheets with plain baby pink pillowcases and a plain baby pink comforter,” you say off-handedly, scrutinizing the bed again.

“How about we take your attention elsewhere, darlin’?” her accented voice whispers and you feel yourself leaning into her as her arms wrap around your waist. You turn to wrap your arms around her neck and lean in for a chaste, gentle kiss.

“Yeah…,” you smile as you pull away.

Your wife grins at you as she tugs you towards the couch. You can’t help but look back at the bed and startle at the sight in front of you. Suddenly, the walls are pink too.

* * *

Zari woke up in shock and pulled her blankets up to her chest. Her eyes landed on the walls in front of her, looking at them without actually seeing them. As her breathing slowed down, she risked looking down at her bed.

After staring at them, she slumped back down in relief. They were, thankfully, the standard Waverider blue-grey. She wouldn’t realize until later that she had imagined Charlie as her wife.


	3. Day Three: Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day three: lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its a sad one today... even though im not quite sure that it fits the prompt...
> 
> thanks a lot, legends, for making charlie immortal and making me think about... this...

“Hey, it’s… it’s been a while, huh? It’s strange. I shouldn’t… miss you like this. Not… not anymore.”

She laughed bitterly.

“The world’s changed so much, you know. You wouldn’t believe it. I remember, you used to say something. ‘For all the time we’ve seen pass by, nothing truly changed.’

“But everyday, I wake up, and there’s something entirely new outside the door. The door doesn’t change, though. Home doesn’t either. It’s still the same way it was the last time you saw it. Just… dustier.”

She expects a familiar voice to playfully groan about how utterly hopeless she is, about how she couldn’t take of herself if she tried, but it doesn’t. Charlie opens her eyes, and looks up at the tombstone, Zari’s name carved elegantly into the once-smooth marble. 

Everyone who had known her, everyone who was still there, had attended the funeral. It had taken place in Star City almost fifty years before, not long after Mick had passed. Jax had been in a corner, not having fully gotten to know Zari in the short time they had been on the Waverider, but grieving no less. Nora and Ray had sat beside Mona, as her shoulders shook with quiet sobs, and Nate had silently comforted Gary in their- no, Charlie’s small apartment.

Charlie herself had stood near Sara and Ava, torn between getting a drink, a habit that she had lessened after falling for Zari, and the knowledge that it would be disrespectful to her late wife. Sara and Ava had been immeasurably helpful, pressing a hand to her shoulder when tears began to rush down her face or gently hugging her when her nails scraped over her wrist. 

Amaya had come in late, John having gone to 1942 to get her, and hadn’t hesitated in pulling the shapeshifter into a nearly comforting hug. Years of rivalry and jealousy had fallen away in the light of their shared grief, and Charlie had barely stopped herself from sobbing heavily onto the totem-bearer’s shoulder.

Charlie took a deep breath in, mind wandering to memories that she’d never quite been able to forget.

“I remember, back before we were together, I wanted nothing more than to get my powers back, so that I could live forever. Now… I’d give them up in an instant, if it meant seeing you again.”

“Of course, with my luck, we’d end up in completely different places. I’d be down there and you’d be up above. Or we’d both be in the middle, wandering around and searching for each other without finding us. Just… lost.”

Charlie looked at her hands. They were smooth, lacking the calluses that had formed on her wife’s over years of playing the violin. The shapeshifter had known those hands better than she knew her current ones. 

“Hey, Charlie?” Martina’s voice rang out behind her.

The shapeshifter whipped around, startled. Her bandmate was standing behind her, concern and understanding mixing together in her eyes.

“You okay?” the younger woman asked.

Charlie smiled as convincingly as she could and nodded, “Yeah. I’m… I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Martina replied disbelievingly, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” Charlie turned back to the tombstone.

Martina hummed in response, her footsteps crunching against the fall leaves and fading away.

Charlie reached her hand out to trail along the edge of the tombstone, sighing.

“I’ll see you soon, Z.”


	4. Day Four: Cafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the obligatory coffeeshop AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure how good this particular thing is, but I might expand on this universe a bit, some time.

“Hey,” Sara greeted Zari as she rushed in through the back entrance of the coffeeshop.

Zari let out a breathless, “Hey”, that told Sara that Zari had run all the way from her apartment again, out of fear of being late.

“You okay?” Sara probed, as Zari pulled on her apron and began prepping the industrial-size coffee machine, “This is the second time this week that you’ve almost been late.”

“Yeah,” Zari sighed, “I’m fine. It’ just… I’m trying to prep for exams and take care of Behrad and pay rent and… it’s just a lot of work.”

Sara glanced over at Zari again, noticing the bags under the woman’s eyes and how her hair seemed unusually messy.

“Damn, Z,” Sara frowned, hating to see her friend so close to her breaking point “Y’know, if you want me and Ava to watch your brother for a night or take a couple of days off or somethin-”

“No, Sara, it’s fine… the semester will be over soon and I’ll have more time to focus on Behrad and work and my final project and stuff,” Zari interrupted, ducking under the counter to pull out an extra pack of cups.

“You sure? You look like you haven’t had a good night’s rest in a while,” Sara replied.

The bell at the door rang, signaling its opening.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Zari said, just as the first few customers walked in.

Sara frowned, unconvinced, as the first customer walked up to the register.

“Hey, you two,” Nate greeted.

“Hey, Nate,” Sara smiled back, as Zari let out a grunt in greeting, “The usual?”

He nodded, and Sara grabbed a cup, scribbling “Mocha” onto it before passing it to Zari. The younger woman took the cup, squinted at Sara’s messy handwriting, and put it under the coffee machine.

The bell rang again, and Sara smiled as Amaya walked in, along with… 

“Whoa, double Amaya!” Nate joked, although he was clearly just as surprised as Sarah was.

The woman with Amaya shared all her facial features, though her hair and clothes were far from anything the zoology student would ever wear. Amaya grinned in greeting and rolled her eyes at her boyfriend’s stupid joke, leaning up to kiss him as she got closer. Amaya’s look-alike just crossed her arms, somehow looking both curious and uninterested.

“Hey, Amaya,” Sara greeted, as Amaya dragged her focus away from Nate, “What’ll it be?”

“I’ll get the usual and Charlie…,” Amaya looked to the other woman, Charlie, who scrutinized the menu posted behind Sara’s head. 

“What’s this… extra spicy coffee, mate?” Charlie asked, looking back down at Sara after a minute.

“Oh, that. It’s… its our specialty, I guess. When we were kids, Zari’s - that’s her back there,” Sarah paused to motion to Zari, who was getting Nate’s order together, “Zari’s aunt used to send over some spices to her mom. One time, we were trying to play a prank on her parents and we put the chilli in instead of sugar.”

“Yeah?” Charlie asked, looking intrigued, “What happened?”

“They loved it,” Zari chimed in, walking over to the other end of the counter to pass Nate his mocha and croissant.

“We had to make it again, the next time I went over to her place,” Sarah chuckled, “So, when we got this place, we put it on the menu. Most people can’t stand the heat, though. Hell, even I can’t.”

“I bet I can,” Charlie answered cockily, crossing her arms.

“Please,” Zari said, rolling her eyes, “the last person to try it threatened to sue us, even though we warned him in advance. He also threw up all over the tables and I got clean-up duty.”

“Well, love,” Charlie leaned onto the counter with a smirk, “If I can’t handle it, you can say you told you so.”

Zari looked over at Charlie with a raised eyebrow, “Yeah, right, what’s the catch?”

Charlie stood back up, her eyes roving over Zari with interest. Sara frowned a little as she noticed the woman checking out her fellow barista, more than a little protective of the oblivious programmer.

“Hmmm,” Charlie raised an eyebrow to match Zari’s, “if I can handle it, I get to take you out.”

Sara looked over at Zari, her eyes wide at Charlie’s forwardness. Zari had stopped restacking the cups, and was scrutinizing the woman and her offer. Charlie, with her punk clothes and her mischievous smile, looked surprisingly at home in their bar-like coffee shop, especially compared to Nate’s semi-formals.

When Zari finally finished her look-over of Charlie, she extended her hand to seal the deal. Her challenger took her hand and looked back up at the barista, even more mischief entering her smile. Charlie bent over to press surprisingly soft lips onto Zari’s knuckles. Zari flushed, her face turning a bright red. The challenger let go of Zari’s hand and she pulled it back, her other hand tracing the place that Charlie had kissed.

“I… uh. I. Um,” Zari fumbled for a moment, before shooting Sara a look that screamed _“HELP”_. 

“What she means to say,” Sara swooped in, “is that we should go and get those ingredients, _right, Z?_ ”

“Y-yeah! Yep. That. I meant to say… yeah. Mhm. Absolutely,” Zari nodded almost frantically, backing away toward the supply closet.

Sara followed after her panicking friend, sparing a single glance to see Amaya smacking Charlie upside the head as the latter grinned uncontrollably. The barista sighed, hoping that this, whatever it was, wasn’t going to end up hurting Zari.

\- - - - - -

Sara found Zari leaning on the wall next to the honey and sugar, eyes fixed on her hand. The programmer looked up, startled, when she heard movement, but relaxed seeing it was only Sara.

Sarah leaned on the wall next to her, waiting for Zari to start.

“What the fuck did I just do, Sara?” Zari asked, dropping her hand to her side and staring up at the ceiling.

“I’m not sure,” Sara answered, just as amazed as Zari, “but it sounds like you might have a date?”

“Ugh,” Zari slid down into a sitting position, “but why?”

“Who knows how cute girls work?” Sara tried, hoping some light-hearted teasing would pull Zari out of her shock. She slid down beside the programmer, nudging her slightly, “They’re a mystery.”

“We’re cute girls,” Zari pointed out, elbowing Sara back.

“Yeah, exactly. No one knows how they work, not even other cute girls,” Sara said, chuckling. Zari joined her after a moment, leaning her head on her friend’s shoulder.

“But seriously, why?” Zari asked, after the laughter had died down.

“Because she thinks you’re cute?” Sara suggested.

Zari blushed, “I doubt it.”

“Really? Because somehow I feel like her flirting with you and checking you out, and you know, _kissing you_ says differently.”

“But I’ve never even been in a relationship with another woman! The closest I got was Helen!” Zari protested.

“She doesn’t know that. Chances are, she likes you, not your relationship history,” Sara advised.

“I guess, but I doubt I have time for a relationship,” Zari mumbled, hiding her face in Sara’s shoulder.

“Like I said, Ava and I can help you out with Behrad and stuff. If you like her, you should go for it, Z,” Sara offered.

“I do like her…,” came the whisper, “She’s really hot.”

“No kidding,” Sara teased, “If you’re not gonna go for her, I will.”

“You’re in a relationship,” Zari grumbled, elbowing Sara again.

“Hmm, fair enough. Guess she’s all yours,” Sara ruffled Zari’s hair, earning an indignant squawk of protest.

“You dick!” Zari screeched.

“Love you too,” Sara smirked, standing to grab the bottle labeled in a red marker that said, “LETHAL: DO NOT OPEN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES”

Zari got up again, grabbing the bottle from Sara and walking out to the front. Amaya and Nate had sat down at one of the tables and Charlie was still leaning onto the counter.

“So-” Charlie began, before she was interrupted by Zari.

“You talked the talk. Ready to walk the walk?” she asked, pulling open the coffee machine to brew the bitterest blend of coffee they had.

Charlie raised an eyebrow and shot a look at her twin, who rolled her eyes. Then, smirking, she looked Zari in the eyes to say, “I was born ready.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” Zari answered.

The coffee machine let out a steady stream of thick brown liquid, and soon enough, it had filled the entire cup. Zari opened the bottle marked in red, and pulled out a tablespoon of the mixture. Meeting Charlie’s eyes in challenge, she slowly poured the mix into the cup and stirring it.

Within minutes, Charlie was presented with a steaming hot cup of coffee. Sara came over as well, with a glass of creamy white milk. The challenger rolled her eyes and scoffed, gently pushing it away and grabbing the cup.

“We warned you,” Sara said, backing away to get together Amaya’s order, which had nearly been forgotten in the ordeal.

Charlie didn’t answer, locking gazes with Zari, pulling the drink to her mouth, and drinking a big mouthful of it. Charlie didn’t understand why Zari’s eyes widened in horror and shock until her throat began burning.

“Holy motherfu-” tears filled her eyes and she reached blindly for the milk. A hand grabbed her wrist and firmly pressed the glass into her grip. Charlie instantly brought it up to her mouth and chugged at the liquid. The milk soothed the effect of the coffee, and Charlie leaned onto the counter with an audible sigh of relief. 

She felt a hand on her back and as she wiped the tears in her eyes, she turned to see her sister grinning at her.

“You brought this upon yourself,” Amaya said, shaking her head.

“You’re my sister. You shouldn’t be making fun of my pain,” Charlie groaned, straightening and pulling the remaining milk towards herself.

“So, I guess I get to say I told you so,” Zari said, pulling Charlie’s attention and reminding her about their challenge from earlier. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Charlie looked at the barista, who was clearly trying to hold back laughter.

“And I... uh, I hope this isn’t too forward, but would you maybe like to go out with me sometime?” Zari looked at her feet, cheeks flushed, before meeting Charlie’s gaze.

Charlie blinked in surprise, not expecting Zari to ask her out after she had made a fool of herself.

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Yeah,” Charlie nodded, a smile spreading across her face.

Sara walked over, grinning, and handed Amaya her drink.

“Here you go, Amaya! And Charlie, if you hurt Zari…,” Sara warned.

“You’ll kill me?” Charlie interrupted, taking another sip of the milk.

“You’ll wish I killed you,” Sara said, the bright smile on her face only highlighting the dangerous glint in her eyes.

Charlie gulped. Sara was clearly not joking.

“Sara…,” Zari grumbled, as she handed Amaya her receipt.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” Sara answered, as the bell rang to announce the entrance of another customer.

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Amaya smiled, going back to her and Nate’s table.

“Uh, so, yeah,” Zari said, grabbing the now empty cup from Charlie’s hand.

“Wha-” Charlie began, as Zari pulled out a pen and scribbled something onto it.

“Call me,” the barista said, passing the cup back to Charlie and grabbing the extra spicy coffee.

“...Yeah,” Charlie murmured back in awe, as Zari downed the drink with little fanfare, crushing the cup afterwards.

Zari turned back to the coffee machine, blushing, as Sarah handed her another order.

Charlie made her way back to the table her sister and Nate had claimed, fingers brushing over the number on the cup.

“Holy fuck.”


	5. Day Five: Sharp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is _very_ loosely based off the prompt. its also short af

“Knock, knock,” came the gentle voice, and Zari had to stop herself from smiling as she rolled her eyes.

“That isn’t knocking,” she called, turning to face Amaya.

She was standing in the doorway, tugging lightly at her shirt as the heated air that Zari prefered spilled out into the hallway.

“It still got your attention,” the vet smiled.

Zari rolled her eyes again, “Yeah? Why’d you need it?”

“Sara’s done with dinner, and she told me to grab you,” Amaya said, leaning on the doorframe.

“I’ll be there in a minute, Amaya, lemme just finish this last line of code,” the programmer said, turning back to her computer.

Amaya walked closer, leaning onto Zari’s chair and resting her hand on her shoulder. The programmer leaned back into her touch, adjusting her hands on the keyboard to make up for the slightly different position.

A minute later, Zari pulled away from her work and stood up, using Amaya’s arm to help her get up. Amaya smiled, looping their arms together as Zari dragged her out to the dining room, eager for food.

\- - - - - -

Three sharp knocks jarred Zari from her work. She tugged her blanket closer to herself, the room a little too cold for her taste.

“Yeah?” she called, pulling off her headphones and pausing her program.

The door opened, and she nearly startled at the unfamiliar familiar face. It was the same face she’d known, just with different makeup and a different expression. Zari’s own expression soured as she recognized the intruder.

“What?” she asked Charlie, turning back to her code and trying to ignore the guitarist’s presence.

“Sara said dinner’s ready,” Charlie snapped out.

“Okay,” Zari nodded sharply, pulling her headphones back on and refusing to let her gaze travel to Charlie.

Charlie didn’t offer any closing remarks, instead slamming the door loud enough that Zari heard it even through the metal blasting in her ears.

“Fuck you,” she muttered under her breath, ignoring her hunger as she continued debugging her program.

She didn’t feel like eating anyway.


	6. Day Six: The Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a moonlight walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some fluff to prepare you for the next one...

The crisp breeze wafted through the air, bringing with it the smell of freshly cut grass and recent rain. Their footsteps echoed off the ground, ringing through the silent night air. Zari’s free hand fiddled with the zipper of her jacket, as Charlie dragged her along by the other one. The meager light in the area was muffled even further by the blindfold that the shapeshifter had wrapped around her face, and Zari was torn between demanding what Charlie was doing and simply relishing in holding the shapeshifter’s hand.

Charlie gently tugged her hand towards the direction that she wanted them to go, and Zari followed, trying to calm her fight or flight senses enough to fully enjoy the… date? Maybe? Zari shook her head. Now was not the time to worry about her budding feelings for her teammate. Now was the time to worry about where the hell Charlie was leading her and why it was taking so long to get there. 

“Hey, Charlie?” she asked.

“Yeah, love?” the shapeshifter replied, not slowing down at all. Zari could practically see her, walking in front, with barely a glance thrown over her shoulder. 

“Where the fuck are we going?”

Charlie laughed lightly, squeezing her hand, “You’ll see in a bit. I promise you’ll like it.”

Zari flushed at the shapeshifter’s actions, and ducked her head, “Yeah, but what is it?”

“Your birthday present,” the shapeshifter answered, tugging Zari forward by her hand and walking a little faster.

“My birthda- what? How’d you know it was my birthday?” the hacker slowed, and Charlie had to do the same or risk Zari falling onto her face.

“The team mentioned it. They said they wanted to throw you a party, but I asked if they’d mind me stealing you for a bit before it,” Charlie tugged her hand again, and they marched a little faster to the mystery location.

“Ray mentioned something about a party… last year…,” Zari mused aloud, “but I told him not to bother…”

“Why?” Charlie asked.

“It wasn’t long after I lost my parents. It felt… wrong to celebrate without them. Amaya and Sara fabricated me a stack of pancakes, though,” Zari answered, sighing. 

“Oh.”

The heavy silence hung between them, thickening the air. Zari looked downwards, even though she couldn’t really see anything. Charlie changed directions again, and the hacker followed, only to be shocked as her next step failed to find the ground it was looking for. Zari pitched forward, expecting to faceplant onto this new terrain when two arms curled around her. Zari sucked in a breath, her face flushing as Charlie pulled her back to her feet.

“Sorry, love. Should’ve warned you about the step,” Charlie apologized, an arm on Zari’s shoulder and another around her waist.

“Yeah, no problem,” Zari answered, attempting to get her face back to a normal color, “though it might help if you took the blindfold off.”

“Nice try, Z,” Charlie smirked, “but there are other ways for me to make sure you don’t trip.”

The shapeshifter pulled her arm away from Zari’s shoulder and molded one of her sides to the hacker’s, guiding Zari from beside her. Zari startled, debating whether or not to tell Charlie that pressing against her wasn’t actually going to keep her from tripping. At best, it would stop her from actually falling.

“C’mon,” Charlie guided her across the rougher terrain, and Zari once again began to wonder where they were, and why they were there. 

The ground began to incline upward, and the hacker had no choice but to lean onto Charlie as they walked, to keep her balance. 

Finally, Charlie stopped them and let go of Zari, who tried not to let the loss of contact bother her. 

“You ready?” Charlie asked.

“I’ve been ready for an hour, asshole,” Zari answered, though there was no malice in the insult.

Charlie chuckled, a sound that Zari loved to hear, “All the better for you to enjoy this, dear.”

Before Zari had the chance to ask exactly what this was, Charlie took off her blindfold and she was greeted by the sight of her childhood park, bathed in moonlight. Her gasp rang in the air, quietly capturing her shock at the sight. She’d never been here at night before, being too young when she lived in DC for late adventures. Still, the familiar playground brought back memories of her mother pushing her on the swings, of her father teaching her how to play soccer, of tumbling around in the grass, carefree and careless.

“Wha-” she began, turning back to Charlie.

“Ray mentioned it. Said you used to come here a lot as a kid, with your parents,” the shapeshifter explained, smiling almost shyly, “but you always mentioned that you couldn’t think of your family without hurtin’. I thought you could use some better memories of this place.”

“Better memories?” Zari asked, turning to fully face Charlie.

“Yeah, better memories…,” the shapeshifter looked at her feet, the reddish tint in her cheeks highlighted by the moonlight, “Better memories like… like this.”

She edged closer, a hand cupping Zari’s cheek and pulling her into a soft kiss. The hacker leaned in, smiling.

They kissed under the moonlight, until they ran out of breath.


	7. Day Seven: Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is... I have no explanation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the same universe as day three... and inspired by the song _Hurts Like Hell_ by Fleurie...
> 
> I really am sorry about this...

“One more mission?” were the words that Sara had used.

_One more mission._

They were an understatement.

 _Sara, if I’m still alive after this, I’m going to kill you._

The creature, a Hindu _asura_ , screeched and launched forward towards Charlie. The shapeshifter dodged away, her sword scraping against the monster’s thick skin.

She and her wife hadn’t been home in almost a week, bombarded by mission after mission. Neron’s final attack left numerous pockets of history riddled with monsters, and the team had been trying to clean them up since long before Charlie and Zari had left to try and make a life for themselves. The pockets, named “clusters” and nicknamed “clusterfucks”, were short periods of time that were flooded with creatures from a specific mythology.

With Mick’s recent death, the team had needed the help of numerous of their old allies. Jax had been helping them for even longer than Charlie and Zari had, with his 20-year-old daughter joining them as a half of the new Firestorm. Her other half, Ronnie Stein, had followed in the footsteps of his grandfather and seemed interested in staying with the Legends long after these battles were over.

Most of their allies couldn’t stay long, however. Helen of Troy had brought a whole army of Amazons to defeat Charybdis, a sea monster displaced by a few hundred years, on the island of Lesbos. The Hawks had shown up a few times, especially when the cluster was Egyptian, but left soon after. Even Kuasa and Mari had shown up once, although their grandmother was busy too busy trying to keep Zambesi to come help.

This particular cluster was especially vicious. It was already hard enough to defeat Hindu clusters, but this was only exacerbated by the fact that they were in the Middle East in the early first century. The fate of three of the world’s main religions rested on the result of this era, and Charlie was all too sure that Neron’s intention had been to rip a major uniting factor of humanity apart. The creatures, aimless and rulerless, were all too loyal to the old King of Monsters, and refused to peacefully talk to the Legends. It left Charlie with a bad taste in her mouth to fight them, but unlike some others, they didn’t seem willing to listen.

Charlie dodged again as the _asura_ swiped his mace towards her forehead and shifted into a larger form that could easily contain the demon. It didn’t stand a chance against her, as she flicked the flicked the mace away and swiped it with the temporal containers that Ava had given them. With a bright flash, the monster disappeared, thrown into a cell for Mona to try and negotiate a treaty with them.

Charlie shifted back into her usual form, stretching. Maybe after this, she and Zari could finally go home. She missed their bed and their tub and…

Shaking her mind to get rid of her thoughts, she headed back to the jumpship, eager to see her wife again. The small ship zipped through shortcuts in the time stream that Zari had mapped long ago. They were too small for the Waverider itself, being little more that rips in the time stream from Mallus’s escape. The jumpship, however, could go through them like a knife through butter, cutting a journey that would otherwise take twice the time it did.

The area around the docking bay was unusually silent, and Charlie wondered whether the others were back yet. They had been trying to attack the leader of the cluster, and had sent Charlie to deal with the soldiers he might have sent out. Still, they hadn’t contacted Charlie on the comms in almost an hour, and despite knowing that they would most likely be okay, worry twisted in her abdomen.

“Gideon?” she called out, hoping the AI had intel on the whereabouts of her wife and friends.

“Hello, Mrs. Tomaz,” Gideon answered.

It was hard to tell, but something seemed off with Gideon’s voice. Despite keeping to its synthetic nature, it seemed almost… anguished.

“Is everything alright, mate?” she asked, a little worried at the change.

“I… I’m sorry, Mrs. Tomaz. Please, go to the medbay,” the undercurrent of emotion hung in the air, worrying Charlie even further.

The shapeshifter marched forward, toward the medbay, contemplating asking Gideon again what was wrong. Yet, she didn’t, too spooked by the AI’s reaction when she had initially asked. Instead, she quickened her steps, until she was almost jogging down the halls of the Waverider. 

She stopped in front of the door of the medbay, almost afraid of what was on the other side. The knot of worry in her stomach only seemed to grow tighter as her hand neared the scanner that would open it.

The door slid open, and everyone in the room turned to face her except for one. The room, as a whole, seemed to be holding a breath, watching her as she looked over the figure slumped onto the chair. Nate, finally, seemed to snap out of the trance, putting his hands up in front of him as he came closer. Charlie barely noticed, her gaze fixed on the unconscious figure, frozen. Hands shaking, she took a step forward, then another, and another. Each step seemed to be louder than it actually was, drowning out Nate’s explanations. She came to a stop next to the chair and gently placed a hand on her wife’s shoulder.

“Zari?” she whispered, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in her chest and how her eyes were already filled with tears.

The room was silent. A tear slipped down her face.

“Zari?” she asked a little louder, shaking her wife’s shoulder.

The hacker didn’t answer, didn’t even move, didn’t grumble in her sleep like she always did when Charlie tried to wake her up. Charlie’s hands started shaking again, her knees felt weak, and the wave of foreboding she’d felt since coming onto the ship crashed around her. John walked over to the shapeshifter, and she looked up, hoping he would tell her that she was okay, that she was just drugged, asleep. But in his eyes, there was a sad kind of empathy and she knew exactly what had happened. He shook his head and she broke.

“No. No, no, no. She’s no- no. She’s not d-,” Charlie pulled a shuddering breath, “ _No. No!_ ”

“Charlie, I’m sorry,” Sara came up to her side, placing her hand on shoulder.

_One more mission._

Charlie flinched away from the captain’s touch like it burned. Her gaze finally tore from her wife’s body to fix onto Sara, endless anger building a home in her eyes.

“ _You said “one more mission”_ ,” she hissed out, tears blurring her vision, “ _not one last mission._ ”

Sara stepped back, her hands in front of her almost defensively, “Charlie, I- I’m so-”

“ _No!_ ” she yelled, her hands balling into fists, “You _can’t_ say sorry about this. You _can’t._ She’s _gone._ There’s no _bloody sorry that can make this better._ ”

A sob interrupted her, and she gave up on words, backing away and almost falling into a wall. Crossing her arms until she could dig her fingernails into her triceps, she let out her tears and shuddering breaths into the quiet. Sara was still standing there, looking torn between coming to her and staying away, while John and Ray seemed to be figuring out the best way to approach her. 

Charlie was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to _get a goddamn drink_ , for the first time in almost a decade. She’d stopped drinking after she noticed that Zari never kissed her after she had a drink, but she’d kept with it mostly because she’d found that she enjoyed the world a little more when she wasn’t intoxicated. But, still, she’d started for _Zari_.

The thought sent another sob through her body and she had to stop herself from barrelling past everyone to the mess to get a bloody drink. Unclenching her hands, she scraped them through her hair, trying to focus on anything, _anything_ at all other than alcohol and her wife. Squeezing her eyes shut kept her from having to look at _her_ body, but yielded no reprieve from the thoughts of alcohol, of getting pie-eyed and forgetting this had ever happened, of losing herself in drinks and bars.

Someone else sat down next to her, and she blinked her eyes open to see Ava, gaze blurred by tears. The woman put an arm around her as Charlie curled into herself, pulling her into a side hug. Despite herself, the shapeshifter leaned heavily onto her friend, burying her face into her shoulder.

Another figure pressed against her side, and Charlie pulled away to see Sara sitting on her left, pale and shaky. Anger passed through her again, only to be overtaken by regret as the captain pressed a hand to her shoulder.

Hiccupping between sobs, Charlie murmured, “I- I’m sorry, I know y-you didn’t want h-”

“It’s okay,” Sara answered, and Charlie wondered how she hadn’t noticed the shakiness in the captain’s voice, “It’s okay. You were just… just upset.”

“You are too,” Charlie replied, pulling a hand away from her hair, and wrapping it around Sara.

“Hey,” came Nate’s voice and she looked up, to see an empty room.

_Wasn’t everyone just in here?_

Her gaze wandered back to Zari, her hair pulled out of her ponytail, and her eyes began to water again.

_Not everyone._

“Hey,” Ava nodded back.

The silence weighed the air around them down, tearing through the walls that Charlie had barely rebuilt around her. Her breath grew unsteady again, and she pulled her hand back from Sara to thread it with her own, like she and Zari did.

_Like we used to._


	8. Day Eight: Silent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is... late. And it's also an AU i just made up? So go easy on me, even I have no idea what this is.

She’d never bothered listening, not after they left. She was supposed to, of course. She was supposed to keep an ear open, make sure she listened for it, in case it rang. She didn’t bother. It was stupid to think it would ring. Like every other Listener, she sat in silence, pretending to wait, wishing for something that would never come true.

The Ringer sat in a corner. They had told her, time and time again, that it wasn’t to be touched, not unless someone rang. She never touched it. It sat in the same corner it always had, gathering dust. She wondered, sometimes, if the dust would hurt it, stop it from working. She wondered if breaking the Ringer would cause someone to come in and say something. Maybe they’d just stand there, watch her, and she’d go mad wishing for someone to say something, anything to her.

She hadn’t heard a human voice in years. Voices interfered, she was told, with the Listener’s job. She suspected it was to sever her ties to everyone but them. The closest she came to human interaction were the footsteps outside her door every time a Provisioner slipped her rations through the door.

The steps were the same each day, never hesitating. They marched up to her door, pulled out the food drawer, filled it, closed the drawer, and marched away. It was the same routine everyday, and she cherished it. She’d nestle as close to the door as she could without being hit by the food drawer, in the hopes of hearing a more human sound.

She longed to hear someone breathe, to remind herself that she wasn’t alone.Yet, she could never get close enough to hear a sound other than the thump of footsteps, the scrape of the drawer, the clang of the tray against the drawer, always in that order, always the same. It was normal, familiar, and she couldn’t decide whether she loved or hated it.

And then one day, everything changed.

The footsteps were different, a little slower and a little lighter. They seemed to be testing the ground before they trusted it with their weight, and she wondered what they looked like. The footsteps stopped before her door, and their owner knocked on the door.

She sucked in a breath. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They were supposed to march, open, fill, close, and march again. She was frozen in her shock, unsure what to do. To talk would be breaking the Listener’s first rule, but what did she care for those? She opened her mouth to answer, but hesitated. What good would it do to answer?

The Provisioner, most likely a new one, knocked again. Then, they did something that shocked her.

“Hello?” the Provisioner asked, in a voice smooth as silk, “Is anyone there?”

Her gaze blurred, and the Listener leaned away from the door to wipe the tears from her eyes. Was that what voices were supposed to sound like? She had little memory of any voice outside of the Counselors’ mechanised ones, the voices that sounded like the churn of gears. The new Provisioner’s voice was gentle, gliding around the room and bouncing off the walls and she wanted to capture it and listen to it for as long as she lived because it was the most beautiful sound she’d heard in longer than she cared to remember.

“Hello? I’m Amaya, the new Provisioner, and I’m here to give you your food,” that beautiful voice called again, and she rushed to answer.

Her voice refused to work, and she almost wanted to punch the door, and the wall, and that useless Ringer that was never going to ring. She pulled another breath in and tried to force her voice to produce the words she longed to say.

“H- h- hi,” she said, finally, her voice hoarse and quiet and nothing like Amaya’s

“Oh, hello!” Amaya answered, “Like I mentioned, I’m Amaya and I’m the new Provisioner. Who are you? I mean, I know you’re the Listener, but that’s all they mentioned about you.”

The Listener racked her brain for the answer, trying to remember, something, anything, about herself, to answer the question. But her mind was blank. She was the Listener, they’d told her. Nothing else mattered. She’d been trained for so long to do this that it was everything that she was.

“I- I… d-don’t know,” the Listener answered.

“Oh,” Amaya’s voice floated through the door, “How about a name? Do you have a name?”

_Zari._

She stiffened at the thought. The word sounded so familiar, and the Listener couldn’t understand why. She could almost hear it, in a voice that she couldn’t remember.

_Zari._

“I… I think… I- my name i-is… Z- Zari?” she asked.

It seemed right, but she still couldn’t pinpoint where the name came from.

“Ok, Zari,” Amaya replied, the name rolling off her tongue much smoother than it had… Zari’s? “Can I come in?”

“Come… in?” Zari(?) asked.

“Yeah, so I can give you your food?” Amaya’s voice washed over her.

Zari looked at the door again and wondered if Amaya had been briefed on the rules yet, before answering, “But I thought you’re supposed to put it in through the drawer.”

Amaya let out a sound that made Zari wonder if this was what heaven was like, and it took her a moment to identify it as a laugh.

“About that,” Amaya giggled, and Zari felt her face heat up, “This station’s under new management now, and we’re looking to change some policies.”

Zari took a minute to appreciate how Amaya’s tone managed to both excite and incite fear in her. She took in a deep breath and nodded to herself.

“Ok. Ok. Y-you can open the door,” she permitted.

Something told her, her world was about to get a lot less silent.


	9. Day Nine: Lavender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day Nine: Lavendar
> 
> i've been in a zamaya mood lately, and this is a product of rewatching the scene where amaya made nate doughnuts.

Zari woke up to the scent of lavender. It wasn’t pungent, like most “lavender-scented” shampoos, but it lingered, pleasantly mixing with the smell of fried dough in the air. She couldn’t help smiling as she pushed herself into a sitting position on the bed and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

Pulling a spare flannel over her thinner pajama top, she got up and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, the scent of lavender hanging in the air with the mint of her toothpaste. The room was still warm and humid from the shower having been used not too long ago, and Zari shrugged the flannel off.

Stepping back out of the bathroom, she walked out towards the brightly-lit kitchen with bare feet, and leaned against the door, gazing adoringly at the sight in front of her. The object of her affection looked up and grinned at her.

“Hi,” Amaya greeted, flour all over her clothes, “Happy birthday.”

Zari grinned back, sauntering up to her and pressing a kiss to her cheek, “You made doughnuts.”

“Yeah,” the baker answered, “There’s chocolate, jelly, and sprinkle doughnuts.”

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Zari asked, grabbing a sprinkle doughnut.

“Yes, you have,” Amaya rolled her eyes affectionately, dusting the flour off her clothes, “Now, you go sit down, while I clean up this mess.”

“Nope. You’re sitting down, and I’m cleaning this up,” the programmer answered, stuffing the rest of the doughnut in her mouth and going to grab the cleaning supplies.

“What? No. It’s your birthday!” Amaya protested, plucking the broom gently from Zari’s grip.

“And _you_ got up early to make me a birthday present,” Zari answered, pulling out the spare broom and dustpan from the closet. 

“Fine. We’ll both clean up,” Amaya decided, going back to the mess to begin cleaning up.

Zari rolled her eyes, following her to begin sweeping up the flour on the floor.


	10. Day Ten: Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short and sad one...  
> :((

The sunset on the beach was a sight that she’d always loved. The sun would slowly dip in the sky, and be swallowed by the water, giving way to a thousand stars at night. The world seemed frozen from the moment the sun made contact to the water to the moment the moon would take over the sky. Zari’d always loved it, the sense of calm that it brought her. But for the first time, she was watching it alone. Amaya was nowhere to be seen.

They’d always watch it together, her and Amaya. Sometimes Sara or Nora or Ava would join them, but even when they couldn’t make it, Amaya always did. It was their thing, had been since Zari had moved to Star City, and suddenly it wasn’t.

Because Amaya was out with Nate, and she’d apologised, and Zari actually really liked Nate, and she knew it wasn’t his fault, but there was still that underlying jealousy and rage that burned at the thought that… that Nate meant more. Was more, to Amaya, because they were together, and she couldn’t go anywhere without seeing them all over each other.

All of a sudden, Nate had swept Amaya off her feet and… and… she was just left behind. All alone, even though she could call Sara or Ray or Mick, and know that they’d be there in an instant. All alone, just because she was so hung up on Amaya that she could barely stand to see Nate, or watch a damn sunset.

“This seat taken?” an accented voice asked from behind her.

Zari turned, wondering who it was interrupting her brooding, and raised an eyebrow at the sight of her mortal enemy. Amaya’s sister, Charlie was almost nothing like Amaya herself, in ways that made her want to strangle the rocker.

“I’m waiting for someone,” she answered, turning back to the sunset, and hoping the other girl would walk away.

“I know.”


	11. Day Eleven: Rest Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> have some soft avalance, because i'm pretty sure i've been piling on the angst recently

“Guess who?”

Ava startled as hands covered her eyes, her training kicking in as she spun around and pressed her attacker onto the wall. Surprise colored her expression at the sight of Sara’s shit-eating grin.

“Sara?” she stepped back, letting go of her girlfriend.

“Hey,” the other woman answered.

“What’re you doing here? I thought you were with the Legends today,” Ava asked, walking towards the kitchen to get some breakfast for herself and her girlfriend.

“Zari told me to take a break. She’s taking over today. I think she’s a bit nervous about it, but I’m sure she’ll be fine. Plus, she can contact me anytime,” Sara pulled out the cross-temporal communicator that Martin made, following her.

“It’s a good thing you have at least one responsible person on that ship,” Ava shook her head, pulling out Sara’s favorite cereal as the captain pulled out a pair of bowls and a carton of milk.

“It’s a good thing I have at least one person the others will all listen to,” Sara retorted, taking the cereal with a smile, “I mean, Ray is pretty responsible, but that doesn’t mean I’d leave him in charge.”

“Fair enough,” Ava poured the milk into her own bowl, before pulling out her own cereal.

“I still don’t understand how you can put the cereal in after the milk, babe,” Sara said, shaking her head in mock disgust as she poured milk over her own cereal.

“And I don’t know how you can guarantee that you have enough milk in your bowl without pouring it in first,” Ava answered.

Sara stuck her tongue out at the director in response, and Ava couldn’t help laughing at the sight.

“Dork,” Ava shot back when she was done giggling, following her girlfriend to the breakfast counter.

“Your dork,” Sara teased, sitting down next to her.

“Yeah, my dork,” Ava rolled her eyes and leaned in for a kiss.


	12. Day Twelve: Balloons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day Twelve: Balloons
> 
> I wrote this in half an hour and didn't spell-check, so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wtf is this lol

Zari glanced back as she made her way to the abandoned warehouse, trying to make sure she wasn’t being followed. The sun was up, high in the sky, and the dark shadows around her were the only protection she had from the blazing hot sun. Wiping sweat off her brow, she sped up, trying to reach the entrance without being spotted or worse.

_You’re only ten yards away. Get there and you’ll be fine. Safe._

Sucking in a breath, she marched forward determinedly.

_Nine yards away..._

_Eight yards…_

_Seven yards…_

_Six…_

She stepped over one of her own carefully hidden traps.

_Five…_

_Four._

_Thr-_

A shadow behind Zari moved at speeds too fast for the wind to explain. Her hand crept into a pocket, fiddling with her weapon, as she turned to face the movement. She scanned the area again, looking for any signs of her enemies. She refused to move, to give any ground, but turning and continuing to her destination would be, essentially, suicide. But the movement seemed to have stopped, and for a second Zari wondered if it was really just the wind blowing a bag around.

_Pretend to turn around, fake weakness and be prepared for an attack._

Sara’s advice rang in her mind, and she turned back to the entrance, looking for an attack through her peripheral vision. She didn’t expect to see her enemy right in front of her, holding a weapon of her own.

“Hey, love,” were the only words Charlie said, before throwing a water balloon at Zari.


End file.
